Founders: Kurt Vonnegut's Caution on Corporate Attorneys

Stock Option Counsel, P.C. - Legal Services for Individuals.  Attorney Mary Russell counsels individuals on equity grants, executive compensation design, employment agreements and acquisition terms. She also counsel founders on their personal interests  at incorporation, financings and exit events. Please see this FAQ about her services or contact her at (650) 326-3412 or by email.

Kurt Vonnegut, Author

Kurt Vonnegut, Author

If you are a founder with some suspicions about the motivations and allegiances of your company's law firm, you may appreciate the wisdom of Kurt Vonnegut.

Vonnegut has a great bit in God Bless You, Mr. Rosewater about the worst motivations of corporate lawyers. 

The book is about money, sort of. Here's the opening line:

 

 

 

 

 

A sum of money is a leading character in this tale about people, just as a sum of honey might properly be a leading character in a tale about bees.
— Kurt Vonnegut, God Bless You, Mr. Rosewater

The Rosewater family had a great fortune. It was held by The Rosewater Foundation, for the benefit of the family's heirs, and managed by a law firm called McAllister, Robjent, Reed and McGee. An associate of the firm, Norman Mushari, was Vonnegut's embodiment of the worst motivations of corporate lawyers.

No one ever went out to lunch with Mushari. He took nourishment alone in cheap cafeterias, and plotted the violent overthrow of the Rosewater Foundation. He knew no Rosewaters. What engaged his emotions was the fact that the Rosewater fortune was the largest single money package represented by McAllister, Robjent, Reed and McGee. He recalled what his favorite professor, Leonard Leech, once told him about getting ahead in law. Leech said that, just as a good airplane pilot should always be looking for places to land, so should a lawyer be looking for situations where large amounts of money were about to change hands.

”In every big transaction,” said Leech, “there is a magic moment during which a man has surrendered a treasure, and during which the man who is due to receive it has not yet done so. An alert lawyer will make that moment his own, possessing the treasure for a magic microsecond, taking a little of it, passing it on. If the man who is to receive the treasure is unused to wealth, has an inferiority complex and shapeless feelings of guilt, as most people do, the lawyer can often take as much as half the bundle, and still receive the recipient’s blubbering thanks.
— Kurt Vonnegut, God Bless You, Mr. Rosewater

Vonnegut's wisdom is a good reminder to founders that their company's attorneys may be representing the company's money rather than its founders.

Stock Option Counsel, P.C. - Legal Services for Individuals.  Attorney Mary Russell counsels individuals on equity grants, executive compensation design, employment agreements and acquisition terms. She also counsel founders on their personal interests  at incorporation, financings and exit events. Please see this FAQ about her services or contact her at (650) 326-3412 or by email.